Home - Oct 2026

Took me an entire sleepless night to decide that I was going home for seven days the following week.

I had initially planned to return in November, but looking at the calendar, November suddenly felt too far away. The longing for home had completely consumed me, and this time, I simply couldn’t ignore it.

What started as a four-day trip eventually became seven, after a little negotiation with my superior.

Homesickness is such a strange feeling. I love London, and I love the life I’ve built for myself in the UK. But no matter how much I love being there, nothing quite replaces the feeling of being home. Perhaps it’s something that comes with age.

I came home with a little mission: to finally do everything on my “When I’m home, I’m going to…” list.

Eat all of Mama’s cooking. Go to the driving range with Zulaika (having Papa coaching both of us). Ride horses independently. Hit the gym every day. Play tennis against the wall, which somehow turned into pickleball — and turned out to be much easier and more fun than I expected. And, of course, go-karting. 

It reminded me that sometimes, all it takes is making the time and putting our minds to something. And somehow, despite how short the holiday was, I managed to tick everything off my list.

But the day before my flight back felt different. Everything suddenly became a little heavier. I spent most of that day in silence, quietly observing the little things around me. The familiar surroundings, the voices at home, the ordinary moments that I knew I would miss once I left.

I tried to take it all in, as though paying a little more attention would help me hold on to those memories for longer. Because I knew that soon, I would be back to the life I love in London and missing the life I love at home.

Beyond the sadness of leaving home, I knew there were still unresolved things waiting for me, not just work-wise but also, with my 2.5 years relationship that just ended. It was something that needed to be dealt with, sooner or later.

Perhaps that’s another difficult part of living abroad. Sometimes, you leave the comfort of home only to return to a life where you have to face things on your own.

And that’s completely okay :)